I have been thinking about my older brother, Adam, a lot lately. I don't really discuss my feelings on his passing with too many people other than family, but I felt the need to quickly write a few things and post a few pictures since this is after all the baby book for the kids...
I was rocking Ceci tonight and talking to her, singing and reading... and I just don't think there's any way I could love that little girl any more. My heart could burst each day when she gives me a hug or tells me she loves me... or after I've put them down and see her little handprints on artwork as I straighten up their toys. It almost brings me to tears (of joy)... the blessing of these children. And tonight it just tugged on me how difficult it must be for my Mom. My brothers and I are beyond close, and my Mom is our mentor, friend and so much more. She and Adam had a relationship that most would wish for when it comes to a mother/son. In January 2010, he passed in a car accident. We were all devastated beyond words (which was an understatement); at the time I mourned his passing as a sibling... as a big brother who I loved dearly. Now, I mourn his passing in that way and much more, as a Mother losing a son. I wasn't able to truly grasp the breathless moment it must have been for my Mom when she heard the knock at her door with the news that my brother had been in a car accident and had not made it. I pray that I will never have to go through what she has gone through. My Mom has remained strong for us, but the thought of losing a child (a grown child) rips my heart to shreds. I couldn't truly relate to my Mom's feelings until I had a child of my own.
Love, love, love your kids... and tell them every single day.
"Whereas you know not what shall be tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a
vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away." James 4:14
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